If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
