My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
