so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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