I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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