Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize