Pregnant stripper...not hot.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
