Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize