Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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