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Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
