How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
