id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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