ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
