so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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