she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Everyone says I win the strip club
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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