And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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