Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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