He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
