That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
