another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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