is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
