Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
