So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
