I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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