YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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