So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
