I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
