I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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