YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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