we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
