i jhust puked up my retainher.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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