Are we in a gay sports bar?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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