I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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