i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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