I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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