I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Randomize
