Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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