there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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