Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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