he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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