i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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