my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
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