I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
