I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
