I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
