Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
