Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Randomize
