New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
