I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize