oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
