I'm jealous of your bromance
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
