I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
