you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
