I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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