p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
