So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
